Where it all started..

Back in August 2009 I stayed at Lindens Guest House in Peterborough with my lovely girlfriend Ella. We chose Lindens Guest House as it was just £36 a night for a double room with breakfast, we were going to see Canadian Psychobilly band "The Creepshow" and just wanted a bed for the night. After a great night out we woke up remembering that breakfast was included in the price so we decided to get up knowing a full English Breakfast had been mentioned on the website when booking. When waking up with a hangover often nothing kills the hangover better than a fry-up, I swear it's the fried eggs that do it! Having stayed in numerous B&B's & hotels over the years generally the breakfasts seem ok, but this time we were in for a real shock.

As we entered a bland looking almost depressing breakfast room with 4 large tables and a number of blank faces staring at us we started to wish we had skipped breakfast and had headed for the front door, oh well no going back now! We found an empty table to sit at, empty as no one else was sitting at it but also empty because nothing at all was on the table. We noticed a table in the corner containing a very basic selection of cereals, fruit juices & tea/coffee making facilities. We grabbed some Fruit juice but skipped the tea as the kettle would only work if you held the switch down. Having downed the fruit juice and sat facing a damp mouldy wall for what seemed like forever we both wondered what you had to do to get a fry-up? Ella asked a man sitting opposite who was munching into a jumbo sausage "How do we get a cooked breakfast?" He looked up, stared blankly for a few seconds and said "ask the man."

Eventually a young, tall, slightly embarrassed looking man arrived at our table and stared at us saying nothing. We assumed he must be the person to ask and luckily he was, finally our much needed fry-up was on it's way, though at this point we were rapidly losing our appetite. About 5 minutes later the man appears again and places our plates in front of us containing 2 jumbo sausages, a slice of toast with a fried egg on top and another slice covered in beans. Ok so it was missing a number of key elements that make up a good fry-up but it looked ok.

I went straight for the jumbo sausage, I will always remember the shock of seeing that uncooked pink centre staring back at me. At this point I had completely lost my appetite but so as not to appear ungrateful decided to try the egg on toast. The egg bleed a raw snotty stream as my knife touched it, rank! Before I had time to think about it too much I cut the corner off my piece of toast with beans on it and popped it in my mouth. What had I done, luke warm beans on half toasted stone cold toast. Me & Ella looked at each other in shock and decided it was time to leave. We walked very briskly to the car park, got in the van and drove off in utter shock trying not to gag. By far the worst breakfast I have ever experienced and there was no way in the world I was going back there again, or so I thought!